INSTITUTIONALIZED

I can’t remember who made me watch The Shawshank Redemption, but wherever that person is, I want to use this medium to thank them from the depth of my heart.
Anyone who follows me on social media or has heard me physically talk about my favorite movies will without fail tell you that I ALWAYS talk about The Shawshank Redemption. After seeing it for the first time, I concluded there and then that it was the greatest movie I’d ever seen and the greatest movie ever made. This was before I even saw its IMDB rating.  I’d love to go into the details of the movie, but I think it would be in your best interest to go see it for yourself. Please do.

Anyway, you might be wondering what my introduction has to do with the title. My dear reader, please indulge me for a minute or less of your reading time. Because to explain the correlation, I’ll have to tell you a little about Brooks Hatlen (If you were wondering who the strange man on today’s newsletter’s cover image is, there’s your answer).
 The first time I heard the word institutionalized was when Red (played by Morgan Freeman) used it to describe Brooks (played by the late James Whitman) when he attacked another inmate. The reason Brooks attacked/threatened to kill the inmate was so that they wouldn’t release him. Red talked about Brooks being in prison for so long, he didn’t know any other life. Brooks had spent 50 years in Shawshank State Prison. His plan to not be released failed and he was eventually paroled. Life outside prison was different. He tried his best to adjust to the outside world, but unfortunately, he couldn’t. Sadly, Brooks committed suicide shortly after (a little spoiler). Kindly note that this is a very abridged version.

Brooks’ story touched me a lot (I think I cried, tbh). I saw a man who had to reluctantly let everything he  had known for years go (he even released his pet Crow). I watched him struggle to keep a regular job, adjust to a regular life. As sad as suicide was, I don’t think he saw any other way.

Brooks’ story has stayed with me for years. Maybe because it’s such a relatable story. I’ve seen people (can also be read as “myself“) do one thing/things a particular way for so many years, they don’t know what else to do. Change is so alien to them. They’ve been institutionalized. A person is said to be institutionalized when they are dependent after a long period in an institution.

Look around you, I’m certain you can identify one, two or more people whom you can confidently say are or have been institutionalized. The man who has been teaching at that primary school since you were a child, despite no signs of his life improving. Your parents attending that church you’re sure they aren’t growing in but have been attending long before you were born. Your friend that doesn’t want to leave their loveless relationship/marriage. The examples are endless. Now before you say “Can never be me!!!”, you might want to check your own life. We’re not as immune as we always think.

Oftentimes, people have good reasons for why they’re institutionalized. You’ll hear stuff like “I was here when we started this company. My work here is important, I can’t leave now…the pastor needs me….I love her so much, bro…I have a community here.” All valid, but harmful nonetheless when placed as the only reason. I believe these things should be looked at holistically.
My number 1 advise is this: Tell yourself the truth. Put all the facts together and tell yourself the truth.
It can go something like this:

-          Am I really growing in this place?

-          If someone else were to take my place, would this place still be running?

-          Is community more important than actual growth and depth?

-          How does this person make me feel, despite my love for them.

-          When last did this genuinely excite me?

-          What’s my real reason for not quitting?

-          Am I afraid of the unknown hence my choosing the known, despite my dissatisfaction?

-          Am I being celebrated or am I being used?

-          If I continue here, where do I see myself in the next 2/3/4 years?

As basic as these questions are, I believe they can go a long way in helping you.

The difference between old man Brooks and some of us on this topic of Being Institutionalized is…Choice.
Old man Brooks didn’t really have a choice. He couldn’t leave prison. But we can. And the earlier we leave, the better for us. But a similar experience we can share with old man Brooks is the difficulty in adjusting after being institutionalized for long. Trust me, that doesn’t have to take 50 years.

I would urge you to act fast if anything I’ve written here applies to you. Trust me, you don’t want to wake up many years from now regretting how much of your life you’ve wasted. I pray you don’t.

Cheers.